I'm taking a day off today. i've had days off from work. I've had days off from music. but i haven't felt rested in weeks. i finally got some good sleep this weekend and feel so good that i can't possibly go to work today.
it's taken me 16 days to finally let go of all things 2011. it was not a bad year by any means. I just made a lot of changes. i feel like i tore down an old platform and started building a new one. it's taken a lot of energy. a lot more energy than i even realized.
sometimes being tired isn't a matter of being phyisically worn down. i've stayed home all day and watched tv and felt just as worn down as a day of work. true rest is something else. something soulful. spritual. it's finding those things that only recharge you. they may be different for everyone. exercise is great for some people, but for others its draining. maybe writing is a chore for a student, but for a blogger it's refreshing. maybe making an italian dinner of spaghetti and red sauce is the last thing on a mothers mind, but for someone who eats out all the time, its a joy.
i don't think rest is a matter of sitting in a chair, or on the couch, or sleeping the day away, or being alone. it's a matter of finding what makes you the most alive and living in that for a day.
music is my passion. but sometimes playing music is the most draining thing in my life. it's usually when i'm playing for the wrong reasons that it's draining. those reasons being money. i have a job. i don't need music to be a second one.
last night though, listening to music for hours before i went to bed was the best few hours i've spent in weeks. better than watching sports. better than watching late night tv. better than surfing facebook updates. it was truly restful.
today, on my chosen day of rest i'm drinking coffee at 1 in the afternoon. i just finished breakfast. I'm done writing for the day. i'm going on a walk in the park. meeting a friend later on. and making myself dinner tonight. it's a good one.