Well this is my first blog attempt of the new website.  I am hoping to get people to come and read whatever it is that a blog is intended to be.  Bare with me at my first few attempts at it. 

Today I was listening to a new Dave Matthews song entitled "Sweet"  You can find it here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KwS7i3DlGo  Its a really simple song about his son learning how to swim, but has a great lyric that says " You know the feeling when you're in too deep, but when you make it out the taste so sweet..." 

It really struck me that the best things in life are always the ones that seem too hard to get, but when you do get them, its really sweet. 

playing music has become increasingly difficult in the sense that i feel like I am banging my head against a concrete wall, and that if i could manage to get my head through that wall, after a migraine and several trips to the hospital, and more concussions than troy aikman,  that there would only be another wall on the other side and i would be 72 years old in the same position i was at 17 with my eyes wide open and naive enough to think i could somehow make it as a musician. 

Does this mean I want to give up? Sometimes....  Sometimes I think that quitting would be the easy way out.  But what does quitting entail?  Never playing my guitar again?  Does making it mean playing only in a professional sense?  That's not even what I am doing now.  i used to think the amount of gigs i played was the measure for succcess.  i have found that not to be the case.

what i am searching for is the heart of this thing.  what is really driving me to do this? if it's success, than i am just like all the rest of the jobs out there climbing a ladder rung by rung in hopes for some sort of validation for a lifetime of hard work.  validation is great, but music and art cannot be made for validation.  new songs and new albums and gigs are not rungs of a ladder i can climb in order to claw my way to success. 

the hardest part about art is that there may never be validation.  there may never be success on any level.  and even if there is, it may never be enough. 

the sweet part that all artists look for is that feeling at the end of the day, when you sit back and look at the creation you've made and enjoy it.  To look at the painting and say "it's finished".  To sit in a room with your band and listen to an album that you put your heart and soul into and enjoy the music.  to have put the pen down after writing the last lyric for a song and sing it all the way through.  that's sweet. 




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